Let’s make something clear: I’m not talking about overcoming the extreme, mind paralyzing, body shaking, kind of fear. I mean, maybe some of this could apply to those things – but I’m mainly talking about how to overcome the fears that you don’t even realize are there – the fear of taking opportunities.
I’ll throw out some examples so you can get a better idea.
You want to start a new business.
You want to ask someone out.
You want to make a YouTube channel.
You want to ask your boss for a raise.
You want to quit your job.
You want to move.
You want to break up with the guy you’ve been dating for 7 years.
It’s the things you’ve wanted to do that you’ve pushed off until a later time, decided it “wasn’t a good idea”, or one of the billion other excuses you’ve made for yourself. Maybe, you even know that it’s a good idea and it’s feasible during this time, but you’re just consciously too scared to start.
I was almost too afraid to start this blog. I’ve had it for about four months now and I’m already amazed by the opportunities that I’ve been presented because of it. I’m so glad that I got over myself and just did it.
With that said, I’m going to relate a lot of these things to my thoughts before starting the blog.
Let’s talk about why we have these fears.
Failure. I’ve failed at a lot of things. I have so much experience with failure that I could (and will) probably write a post on failure alone. I didn’t want to start the blog because I was too afraid that it was just going to be another thing that I failed at, and I didn’t want to take on the disappointment of letting myself down again.
Judgment and Rejection. Let’s start by admitting one thing: we all care about what others think. We all want to leave good impressions on people. I was afraid that everyone would think I was weird for starting a blog. I was afraid that people wouldn’t find my advice helpful or they wouldn’t even care to hear it.
Commitment. I knew that starting a blog was going to take a lot of time (boy, was I right). I also didn’t think that I had the extra time to give.
For those who don’t know, it takes a long time to reach a good amount of followers before you are an “influencer”, or whatever you want to call it. I was scared that I wasn’t going to pull through when things got hard or it started to feel like it wasn’t worth it.
Uncertainty, change, and losing control. it’s all uncomfortable. If you don’t know, you have to invest money into a blog. I mean not a whole lot, probably just a couple hundred to get the site and a few other technical things, but still.. It’s an investment, especially for a broke college kid. Anyway – I was scared to invest this money and time without knowing how it would affect me, how successful it would be and when, etc.
Alright, the old fears are out on the table.
So, let’s talk about what I talked myself through to push past it, and what you need to do to overcome your fears.
Remind yourself of what you’ll lose by ignoring it, or what you’ll gain by doing it. Remembering back to when I was having this conversation with myself, I remember thinking that I wouldn’t get the opportunity to better people’s lives, I wouldn’t get to share the advice that I felt called to give, and I would have felt like I always missed out on something that I truly wanted to do. I remember thinking that I didn’t want to have to question, “what if?”
Think of the *actually possible* worst scenario. Don’t let your anxiety get in the way. Take some deep breaths and genuinely think about the worst thing that could happen. I promise you, that most of you will come to the realization that the outcome wouldn’t be that terrible. So, you fail at something.. Get back up.
So, people judge you.. They were judging you before you did this, people will judge you no matter what you do. Your opinion of yourself is more important than their opinions of you, I promise.
Talk to someone encouraging. I have this one friend that would support anyone on any adventure that they could ever dream of. She pushes people out of their comfort zone. She hypes them up so that they believe in themselves and get the courage to just try. – I hope you have a friend like that. If you do, go to them. If not, I’ll be that person for you.
Know that YOU are in control of YOUR future. To be blunt, no one else is going to do this for you. It’s your future and if you want to be accomplished – you are the one that’s going to have to get you there. You are the only person who can bring yourself the satisfaction of knowing that you got over the fear, put in the work, and did the dang thing to get where you are.
Just freakin do it. Quit putting it off, quit waiting for the right time, stop waiting for someone to approve or do it with you – get it over with. Start and get excited about it. The sooner you do it, the sooner you feel the success that you want.
Listen, people are going to judge you, no matter what you are doing! Becky will always have something to say. She will judge you if you go to the gym, she will judge you if you don’t go to the gym. No matter what choices you make – people will have an opinion on them, but again, the only opinion that truly matters is yours.
Wanna know why people judge others? Because they are jealous, need something to talk about, or need something to distract them from thinking about their own choices. Just remember, the people who are talking about you – aren’t better than you.
Last thing.. No one is going to judge you if you are attempting to make a better life for yourself. No one should blame you for wanting to get better in any capacity.. Whether that’s going to the gym to get in shape, going to therapy to get your mental health in check, starting a business (or quitting one) to create a better opportunity.. Whatever it may be, people are most likely going to be proud of you.
Make failure your friend. Failure is good, failure is healthy, failure is common, and failure brings learning. You will be able to get through it. You’ll be able to redeem yourself from anything that you do. Maybe not immediately, but over time, you will.
Give yourself “the future threat”. You probably don’t know what that is, considering I just made that title up. It’s a scenario question. Think about this: You’re 80, sitting on the porch, looking back at your life.. Are you going to be happy that you did or didn’t take the opportunity? You’ll always find out what’s truly important by asking yourself that question.
That was a lot of writing. I should have told you to grab a snack.. Sorry. I just had a lot to say because fear is such a crippling thing for most people – and it’s something that everyone experiences.
I hope this was helpful for you guys.. Let me know if any of these tricks work for you and convince you to do the dang thing! xoxo