How are we supposed to find the love of our lives if we’re constantly at home? I know, it’s a totally different world than what we’re used to. But don’t worry, I’ve come to teach you successful online dating in quarantine.
I started online dating in quarantine in September 2020, met my current boyfriend on Bumble in October 2020, and we’ve been head over heels ever since our first date. (Also, shoutout to Nic who helped me create these tips for you guys!)
But before I share all of my tips and tricks with you, I just want to say that the true key to successful dating (in general) is being yourself and not settling. Don’t waste your time, energy, and heartbreak by adapting to whoever you’re talking to – rather than expressing who you are and what you want moving forward.
So let’s unpack that!
First key is to be yourself from the very beginning. That means being open and honest about your characteristics, values, goals, future plans, views on certain topics, etc. I know it sounds cliche to tell you to “be yourself”, but it’s a common saying for a reason! If you’re adapting yourself to meet someone’s expectations in the beginning, it’s only going to cause problems later on in the relationship. So make sure that your ideas and feelings are clearly stated, and if they agree with you, great! If not, they just aren’t the one for you, and that’s okay! Trust me, there are other options out there.
Second key is to express what you’re looking for in the relationship from the very beginning. I used to be afraid of saying what I truly wanted in the beginning, a committed relationship, because I was afraid of being too forward and scaring someone off. But I started thinking about it this way: Would you rather state what you want from the beginning, or wait months only to realize that you have feelings for them but they don’t have the same end goal as you?
My third piece of advice is, “If they want to, they will.” If they want to hang out with you, they’ll show up. If they want to make you feel special, they’ll do things for you. If they want to grow in a relationship with you, they will put in the effort. With that said, I encourage you to let things happen naturally. Don’t force hanging out, don’t make excuses for them when they don’t meet expectations, and don’t try to assume their feelings. If they want to, they will.
Fourth, I suggest not immediately hanging out with someone in person. I understand that some of you like to physically see people and you like to communicate in person, but I have two reasons as to why you should wait. First, we’re in a pandemic so you should probably be a little more selective with who you hang out with. Second, you need to teach people that your time is valuable and it isn’t handed out to everyone. They need to put in the work and earn a first date with you.
Next, if you’re looking for a committed relationship, they should be taking you on an actual date for a first date. They shouldn’t ask you and a friend to come over and chill with the guys. They should offer to take you out to dinner, grab drinks, go watch a movie, etc. Doing that shows that they want to put real effort into hanging out with you!
After the first date, I would have open communication about how it went and where you want to see things going forward. You don’t have to tell them that you love them and want to get married, but you can say that you had a good time and want to see where things could go moving forward.
My last two key pieces of advice are to keep open communication and be upfront about how you’re feeling towards someone. Playing hard to get is stupid. If you like someone, show it! I promise, people value honesty over saving face. This will only work if you truly take a chance and put yourself out there.
To sum this up: be yourself, tell them what you want, stay open and honest, and go for it! Good luck out there, you’ve got this! xoxo
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