Successful Online Dating In Quarantine

Successful Online Dating In Quarantine

How are we supposed to find the love of our lives if we’re constantly at home? I know, it’s a totally different world than what we’re used to. But don’t worry, I’ve come to teach you successful online dating in quarantine. 

I started online dating in quarantine in September 2020, met my current boyfriend on Bumble in October 2020, and we’ve been head over heels ever since our first date. (Also, shoutout to Nic who helped me create these tips for you guys!)

But before I share all of my tips and tricks with you, I just want to say that the true key to successful dating (in general) is being yourself and not settling. Don’t waste your time, energy, and heartbreak by adapting to whoever you’re talking to – rather than expressing who you are and what you want moving forward. 

So let’s unpack that! 

First key is to be yourself from the very beginning. That means being open and honest about your characteristics, values, goals, future plans, views on certain topics, etc. I know it sounds cliche to tell you to “be yourself”, but it’s a common saying for a reason! If you’re adapting yourself to meet someone’s expectations in the beginning, it’s only going to cause problems later on in the relationship. So make sure that your ideas and feelings are clearly stated, and if they agree with you, great! If not, they just aren’t the one for you, and that’s okay! Trust me, there are other options out there. 

Second key is to express what you’re looking for in the relationship from the very beginning. I used to be afraid of saying what I truly wanted in the beginning, a committed relationship, because I was afraid of being too forward and scaring someone off. But I started thinking about it this way: Would you rather state what you want from the beginning, or wait months only to realize that you have feelings for them but they don’t have the same end goal as you?

My third piece of advice is, “If they want to, they will.” If they want to hang out with you, they’ll show up. If they want to make you feel special, they’ll do things for you. If they want to grow in a relationship with you, they will put in the effort. With that said, I encourage you to let things happen naturally. Don’t force hanging out, don’t make excuses for them when they don’t meet expectations, and don’t try to assume their feelings. If they want to, they will.

Fourth, I suggest not immediately hanging out with someone in person. I understand that some of you like to physically see people and you like to communicate in person, but I have two reasons as to why you should wait. First, we’re in a pandemic so you should probably be a little more selective with who you hang out with. Second, you need to teach people that your time is valuable and it isn’t handed out to everyone. They need to put in the work and earn a first date with you. 

Next, if you’re looking for a committed relationship, they should be taking you on an actual date for a first date. They shouldn’t ask you and a friend to come over and chill with the guys. They should offer to take you out to dinner, grab drinks, go watch a movie, etc. Doing that shows that they want to put real effort into hanging out with you! 

After the first date, I would have open communication about how it went and where you want to see things going forward. You don’t have to tell them that you love them and want to get married, but you can say that you had a good time and want to see where things could go moving forward. 

My last two key pieces of advice are to keep open communication and be upfront about how you’re feeling towards someone. Playing hard to get is stupid. If you like someone, show it! I promise, people value honesty over saving face. This will only work if you truly take a chance and put yourself out there. 

To sum this up: be yourself, tell them what you want, stay open and honest, and go for it! Good luck out there, you’ve got this! xoxo

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9 Ways to Automate Social Media as a Business Owner

9 Ways to Automate Social Media as a Business Owner

If you’re starting or currently running a full time business, you probably don’t have a lot of extra time to spend working on your social media. So to help you focus on what truly matters, I wanted to share 9 ways to automate social media as a business owner!

I’m going to keep this short and sweet for you, so let’s dive in:

  1. Precreate your hashtags. Open your notes, and copy this format in below. Once you’ve got it copied in, you’re going to fill in the 30 hashtags with relevant content in your niche. You’ll fill this out for a few different posts, and then you can just copy and paste it in the post/comments whenever you decide to upload! (You can also paste this into your shortcuts to make the process even faster.) 

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# # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # # #

  1. Recycle content topics. Create 10-15 content topics that are related to your niche, so you just fill in the blanks when you’re ready to post! For example, if you were a real estate company, here’s a few topics that I’d use:
  • Just listed homes
  • Just sold homes
  • Under contract homes 
  • Fun things to do in the area
  • Other businesses in the area
  • Community member related posts 
  • Customer testimonials 
  • Behind the scenes at the office
  1. Recycle old posts. Let’s be honest, it’s super unlikely that someone is going to remember the old photo that you posted last year. Just re-use it and slap on a different caption! 
  1. Repurpose content between different platforms. What this means, is that you can take one content idea and diversify it for all of your feeds. For example, we’ll take this blog post’s content idea –  9 ways business owners can automate social media, and apply it to Instagram, Tik Tok, my Facebook group, and a blog post. 
    1. Instagram: Take a photo and bullet point the 9 main ideas of the post as the caption.
    2. Tik Tok: Take a video, explaining the 9 key points, and post. You can also repurpose this as an Instagram Reel.
    3. Blog post: Just write the blog post and share!
    4. Facebook group: Share the link to the blog post with a relevant photo. (Maybe even the one from your Instagram post!)

You can find my content repurposing sheet here.

  1. Pre-plan your posts. When you batch create, you can usually plan quickly because your brain stays in the same thought process. And then you’re not stuck trying to post something last minute while you have writer’s block at 7:00! My advice: have the photo idea and caption ready to go about a week in advance. 

You can find my social media planner (for 3 accounts) here. 

  1. You can also pre-create and schedule your posts in advance. There are plenty of planner apps like Hootsuite, Preview, Tailwind, Planoly, etc. There are different benefits for each platform, so just pick whichever one you like best. (Most of these platforms have a free version, which will work just fine!) 
  1. Use templates for your posts. If you have a template, you can just fill in your photos for each post, switch up the words a bit, and then you’ll be ready to go! This will make sure that your posts look cohesive and branded. Canva is my favorite platform for templates. They have a free version, which will work just fine. But if you want to step up your social media template game, contact me and we’ll chat about creating some custom, branded templates! 
  1. Use the same (or 2-3 similar) presets to give the look of a cohesive feed, and make it simple and easy to edit photos. 
  1. Lastly, organizing your camera roll can be super helpful in automating your social media. If you snap a photo that you know you’ll want to share, add it to a folder called “(business name) socials”. That way, when you’re looking to plan content in the future, it’s all right in front of you!  

Alright, so that’s all I have for you! I hope that this post was able to save you a little bit of time on your socials so you can focus on the good stuff. I’ve discounted my social media bundle for a limited time, so if you’re interested in having those systems in your back pocket to maximize your time – go check that out! 🙂

9 ways to automate social media as a business owner. Printable templates

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9 Inspiring People to Follow on Instagram

9 Inspiring People to Follow on Instagram

Social media will give you the result that you ask for. And what you ask for is determined by who you follow. 

So, if you’re constantly asking to see the successful and beautiful women who edit their photos with a fancy preset, only show the highlight reels, and pretend that life is all sunshine and rainbows – that’s the unrealistic standard that you will subconsciously set for yourself. 

But if you ask to follow women who post pictures without makeup, show you their fat rolls, tell you when they’re having a bad day, and give you tips on how to improve your life – you will let go of the unrealistic standard because you’ll finally see that people don’t always live the glamorous lives that they portray to live.  

If you constantly follow content that makes you feel jealous and unworthy, that’s what is going to stick with you. But if you’re constantly following inspiring and uplifting content, that is how you will feel. So, choose wisely. You get to determine how social media affects your mindset. 

I’m going to give a large variety of people to follow. There are accounts for overall self development, business, body positivity and self love, faith, and more. In upcoming posts, I’m going to niche down and pick one topic, like body positivity, and give a larger list.. But I need more time to get my thoughts together for that. So, we’ll go ahead and get into it. I will share every person’s Instagram handle in case you’d like to check them out! 

Rachel Hollis, @msrachelhollis – 

If you are a regular reader of mine, you probably know that Rachel Hollis is my queen and forever role model. She is a motivational speaker, author, host of a podcast, blogger, mama of 4 kids, and so many other things. I don’t know how she does it all. I found her by randomly deciding to read her book, Girl, Wash Your Face. It motivated me to get down to the root of my mental health issues, love myself, create healthy habits, stay motivated to accomplish goals, and work hard AF. Since reading her first book, my life has genuinely changed so much. I have now read her other book, Girl, Stop Apologizing, followed her on all socials, attended her online “RISE” personal development conference, and more. If you don’t follow anyone else on this list, just make sure that you follow her. You won’t regret it. 

Dave Hollis, @mrdavehollis –

You guessed it, Dave Hollis is (well.. was) Rachel’s husband. They recently divorced. Nevertheless, he is one of my greatest role models as well. I’ve also read his book, Get Out of Your Own Way. The book was basically about his journey of personal growth and all the lies that he had to stop believing before he could truly grow. The book was written for people who are/have been skeptical of personal development, because he was at one point too. Following Dave on social media has really enforced me to stay motivated to accomplish goals – especially when it comes to working out. Also, he posts the CUTEST freaking videos with their adopted daughter, Noah. I am obsessed with her.   

Jenna Kutcher, @jennakutcher –

Jenna Kutcher is many things. Mainly, she is the definition of a boss babe, and holds titles of a business coach and entrepreneur. Jenna has her own blog, podcast, e-courses, and more. So if you are a small blogger/influencer, she’s definitely one that will have some free resources for you (and some great paid ones as well). Aside from her business coaching, she talks a lot about body positivity, self love and growth, relationships, mom-life, and more. 

Mik Zazon, @mikzazon –

I followed Mik on Instagram recently and haven’t done much research on her otherwise. But, I added her in because I love her Instagram. She is extremely real about mental health, body positivity, and loving every single part of yourself – no matter how many pimples, scars, or rolls you have. You won’t find any of her photos with any retouching or without an extremely genuine caption. It’s been a breath of fresh air to see something so real on Instagram. 

Ashley Graham, @ashleygraham –

Ashley Graham is a plus sized model who wants everyone to feel comfortable in their own body. She created a podcast (which is also a show on YouTube) called Pretty Big Deal, where she talks about confidence, beauty, and self love. She has a lot of celebrities on the show that co-host and help her change the narrative on the standards that society has set. 

Cathrin Manning, @cathrin_manning –

Cathrin is a YouTuber that talks a lot about content creation. She gives so many tips for getting more viewers, creating a unique brand, cultivating a genuine audience, and more – no matter what niche you are in or what platforms you use. She’s also been really open about the struggle as a small influencer (before she hit fame), which has been super helpful for me because I’m still in the small influencer stage, and it’s been nice to know that my feelings are valid and that I’m not alone in feeling them.  

Savannah & Cole Labrant, @sav.labrant & @cole.labrant – 

I paired Savannah and Cole together because I mainly admire them for their relationship and the way they lead their family. Sav & Cole are young, famous YouTubers that vlog about their blended family life, christianity, etc. Before the couple had met, Savannah got pregnant at 19 in an unhealthy relationship where she felt unworthy. She then had Everleigh and raised her as a single mom. Eventually, Sav met Cole when she thought that no one would want to date her because of Everleigh. But, Cole embraced it and treated them both like freaking queens. I was introduced to them by their wedding video that went viral. It was so beautiful that I was left in tears. Now, I mainly watch them to learn how they keep Jesus at the center of their relationship, family, and life. But also, watching them has also shown me what a healthy relationship and/or marriage can look like at my age. Quite honestly, I think it’s been important for me to watch them so I don’t lose sight of what I deserve or how I want my future family to look like.  

Morgan Harper Nichols, @morganharpernichols – 

MHN is an artist and poet that shares her original and personally drawn quotes. She is overall just a bright and uplifting spirit that speaks truth through her writings. I am in awe of her talent lyrically and artistically. 

Long story made short, these are the handful of people that inspire me on a regular basis! Making social media a positive learning space has really changed how I view myself and the concept of social media in general. I’m always looking for more people to follow and learn from, so if you have any favorites that I should check out – let me know! xoxo

Addressing Friendships That Aren’t Serving You

Addressing Friendships That Aren’t Serving You

I saw a quote a long time ago and it really stuck with me. It said, “If you are the smartest person in a room, then you are in the wrong room.” Frankly, at first, the quote didn’t really register with me because I’ve never really cared about how smart someone was. But then I changed it up. I kept the same foundation, but replaced the ‘smart’ aspect. 

If you are the most caring person in a room, then you are in the wrong room. 

If you are the most motivated person in a room, then you are in the wrong room. 

If you are the most understanding person in a room, then you are in the wrong room. 

If you are the most giving person in a room, then you are in the wrong room. 

The list goes on, but you replace it with the characteristics that you value.

When I first thought about this concept, I thought it was conceited and self centered. Who am I to say that I’m better than other people? What kind of person does it make me to leave people behind to search for better things? I kept this mindset for a while, but the quote had always stuck with me. 

Eventually, I realized brutally honest truths that I’m going to share with you soon. 

I spent a lot of alone time during quarantine – the most alone time that I’ve ever spent in my life. But the more alone time I spent, the more ‘at peace’ I felt. I couldn’t understand why because I’ve always been extremely social. I’d never gone days without seeing someone. I was actually almost concerned at how content I was with being alone, just because it was so out of character for me. 

I started doing some deep reflection at the end of June. It was a very hard month for me, especially in terms of friendships. I had been disappointed by so many people that I cared about. I think it hurt so badly because I would have never allowed them to feel the way that I did, but they did it without even caring or noticing. To be honest, I’ve felt disappointed with most of my friendships for a long time, but I’ve never had the guts to say anything to fix it. 

I realized that I felt so at peace because I wasn’t surrounded by people that required so much from me, without giving anything in return. I wasn’t around people who made me feel poorly about myself or my choices. I wasn’t surrounded by fake friends who I had to pretend to like. I had no idea how much stress that some of my friendships cost me until I was forced to take a step back. 

You’re probably like, “Boo hoo Carmen. Your life sucks.. Move on.” But there is a point to all of this complaining. Even though I was disappointed, I learned and gained so much more. That’s what I’m really here to talk about. I’m sure that someone else, even if they haven’t completely realized it until now, needs to hear what I’m about to share – so here we go.

Stop putting other people first. You are the most important person in your life. It’s okay to be a little bit selfish! I always think of the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Meaning that you can’t help others when you don’t have anything to give. Stop making other people’s needs more important than your own. 

If friends aren’t going out of their way for you, don’t go out of your way for them. Not only was I putting other people first, but I kept putting them first when they didn’t do the same for me. It’s a long, exhausting, and frustrating road to go down. You don’t have to say, “You didn’t do ___ for me, so I’m not doing __ for you.” You can silently just stop putting in the effort until they are able to give back to you. 

You are not selfish for changing or evolving out of friendships that don’t serve you. Like I said, you have to put yourself first. If you feel like a relationship gives you more negativity than it does positivity – cut it off. I’ve held on to unhealthy friendships for years and I can confidently tell you that 99% of the time, it doesn’t get better.

You do not owe anyone anything. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been friends, if they’ve been a good friend to you in the past, what you’ve been through together, etc. If they are becoming toxic to you, cut it off. You do not owe anything to people for being a good person/friend at a point in time.  

It’s okay to stand up for yourself and your wants. Everyone has the right to do this for themselves. Like we said earlier, their needs are not more important than yours. 

It’s okay to upset other people. Let me repeat: It’s okay to upset other people!!! This took me forever to realize, but it was the most liberating thing. Before I came to the realization, I thought of upsetting other people as equivalent to the world ending. I swear, it never even occurred to me that upsetting someone else was an option. Looking back, I have no clue how that never dawned on me, but I’m so glad it did. 

Here’s what I never thought about: It should not be up to you to make sure that every other person in your life is happy – especially not at the cost of your own happiness. It’s also okay to disagree with people, have different thoughts or beliefs, etc. 

But if you’re like me, you’re probably wondering how you can upset people and it still be “okay”. My advice: It’s all about how you handle the situation. 

Here’s my typical outline for upsetting someone: 

1: Break the news as lovingly and calmly as you can. 

2: Let them know that you understand if they are upset, and then explain that you have to put your wants/needs first in this situation – and you apologize for the inconvenience it may put on them. 

3. If you want to make it up to them in the future, let them know. Give them an idea of how you can make it up to them. 

4. Give them the time and space that they need to come to terms with the situation. Don’t confuse this with waiting for forgiveness, because you don’t need that for doing what’s best for you. You just need to let them cool off and process the way that they need to in order to do what’s best for them.

Alright, I think that’s all I’m going to share in this post. I have a few ideas surrounding the topic of friendship and I don’t want to make this too long, so I’ll save it for the next post! Remember, your goal in life is not to please other people. Your goal in life is to make YOU happy and do what’s best for you – and you don’t have to feel guilty or selfish for doing those things. Have a great weekend! xoxo

Why Network Marketers Have a Bad Reputation + How to Fix It

Why Network Marketers Have a Bad Reputation + How to Fix It

I’m going to be extremely honest with you guys. Before starting my network marketing company, I hated network marketers. I was annoyed every time I got a message from one. I thought that these women would say anything to get me to join their business, so I didn’t trust any of them. I also didn’t trust that you could be successful in these types of businesses. 

Fast forward a few months, I’m working in a network marketing company. I swear, it’s like the last thing on the planet that I ever expected to say. 

I think the main reason that I hated NWM companies was because I had been reached out to by so many women who didn’t know how to market. I’ll give a few examples.. 

They sent cold messages. “Hey girl, I love your profile! I think you’d be great at what I do, would you be interested in hearing more about ____?” 

What pissed me off the most about this was the fact that some girls didn’t even follow me when they sent messages like this. That’s so ingenuine! But even if they did follow me, I’d seen the same message hundreds of times – so I knew it was BS anyway. 

They didn’t take no for an answer. There’s a difference in sharing an opportunity and begging for someone to take the opportunity. If you’re not understanding no, you’re begging for someone to take the opportunity, which turns people off 10x more. 

I didn’t love seeing their products being featured on their page 24/7. What network marketers need to realize is that people don’t follow you to basically see “commercials” for your product. That’s like turning on The Office and seeing 50 minutes of commercials and 10 minutes of the actual show.

So, I think those were the main reasons why I was against NWM. I got a bad taste in my mouth from the women who did it incorrectly. 

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I won’t lie, in the beginning, I was also too excited to make money. I was extremely excited by the Plexus compensation plan, so I spent a lot of time sending cold messages. I didn’t send messages like most other NWMs so I didn’t feel like I was doing anything wrong (by sending cold messages), but I still didn’t really get to know someone before pitching the business, and I completely regret that. Did I make sales? Yes, a good amount, honestly. But eventually, I did some self reflecting and honest thinking – and I reminded myself that I am a very genuine person who extremely values relationships and good people, and I didn’t feel like I was embodying that in the way that I was reaching out to other people.

Ever since that realization, I made a promise to myself that I’m not going to compromise my integrity, even if I’m not technically doing something wrong. So, since then, I have changed my strategy of marketing. 

So how do we, as NWMs, change our reputation?

Learning. Like I said, I’ve been in this business for a very short amount of time. But I’m always learning, and I think that’s the first step to changing the reputation. Listen to podcasts, read books, or watch videos on how to market in a genuine way. 

Building relationships. Don’t reach out to potential clients just to make a sale. Reach out to people, as a friend, to make a connection with them. If they want to buy in the future, great. The door is open.. But don’t push the products or the business on them. 

30/70 content balance. 30 being the percentage of business promotion you do, leaving 70% for real content that people followed you for. And just in my opinion, this should be the highest ratio that you should ever have. I would normally say more like 20/80.

Understanding that this business isn’t for everyone. I know that it’s frustrating when someone doesn’t fully understand or agree with the opportunity that you want to share with them – but that’s their choice. The more that you try to convince or pester them, the more desperate you’re going to look. 

Staying true to ourselves and values. Don’t let the excitement of money change you into something you’re not. Promote what you truly believe in, be honest with others, do what’s best for others, etc. The more genuine you are, the more appreciation and sales you will get. If you know deep down that you aren’t with the best team or company – make the switch. I know it’s scary, but it’s so much more worth it to be surrounded in a good and healthy environment. Join a company that has good values. Join people who have good values. 

Understand that things take time. You don’t build an empire within your first couple months. If you aren’t seeing the success that you’d hoped for – that’s okay. Don’t result in acting desperate for sales or quitting. 

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Alright, that’s all of my advice that I can share for now. For the people reading this who aren’t network marketers, give others grace. Most of us are good people, we just have a job to do. We’re always learning and trying to do better, but we aren’t perfect. 

Even though I was extremely annoyed when other NWMs reached out to me, I would always be friendly anyway because I wanted to believe the best in people. And because I did that, I have learned from a lot of great women (who are network marketers) about leadership, self growth, entrepreneurship, etc. I have also made some really good friends too. Just remember, they are people too! 

In a future post, I’ll share more about network marketing and my strategies on how to do it genuinely while still making good sales. If you are interested, make sure to subscribe to my email list. I send out bi-weekly notifications with new blog posts, small influencer tips and resources, and more. Have a great rest of the week! Xoxo

How to Communicate a Problem with Someone You Love

How to Communicate a Problem with Someone You Love

You can’t always agree on things with the people you love, and that’s okay! Conflict, within reason, can be healthy for a relationship. You can express different ideas, perceptions, opinions, etc. But how you communicate those differences, makes a huge difference. 

So how do we communicate in a way that allows people to feel heard, accepted, and appreciated? 

I like to think that arguments come in 4 different stages, and if all are handled correctly, mutual agreements can be made. 

Stage 1: The Pre-Argument

The pre-argument is actually the most crucial part of the communication. Here’s what you need to do.. 

1. Figure out how you feel about the situation. I recommend journaling because it helps you process all of your feelings in a visible way. Think about why you feel the way you feel, what actions and events led you to feeling that way, and how you want to feel moving forward. 

2. Make conversational points. Conversational points are your main “arguments” and things you want to calmly express to the other person. This includes how you feel, what upset you, how you wish the situation would have been handled, how you want to feel moving forward, the steps you believe need to be taken to reach a positive outcome, etc. 

3. During this stage, you need to work on neutralizing your feelings before entering the conversation. If you go into an argument with anger or negative emotions, it’s extremely likely that you will act out of those feelings. Make sure that you are calm and ready to talk before you initiate conversation. 

4. Once you’ve made sure all of these other steps are completed, reach out to the other person. Ask them if they are ready to have an open and honest conversation about the situation. Tell them that you are coming to the conversation prepared with your side of the story and points, and they should as well. That way, feelings can be pre-processed and understood on both sides. This really is an important step, because a conversation can really go sideways when someone feels blindsided. 

5. Make sure that you discuss the best form of communication with the other person. Are you going to speak over the phone, through text, or in person? Different people have different preferences on how to communicate, and the medium that you use really matters. I personally prefer conversations over text because I can clearly get my ideas across, but I also know that others believe that a lot of messages can be misleading that way, so I’ve learned to start asking their preference before assuming.

Stage 2: The Opening

The opening is how you begin the argument. 

1. Start the conversation by reminding the other person that you hope to have a calm, honest, and open minded conversation. Tell them that this isn’t a 1v1, you are on the same team trying to accomplish a goal. 

2. Make sure to let the other person know that they are appreciated. Quite frankly, you want to warm their hearts before you give them some tough love. You should also mention that your criticism isn’t meant in a harmful way – you are speaking out because you care about them and want to get better. 

3. Tell them that you can pause the conversation and come back to it if someone gets too frustrated. The most important thing is having a clear, improving mindset.

4. Ask the person for their side of the story first. Allow them to speak without interruption so they can feel heard. That way, they will feel appreciated, and most likely do the same for you. 

Stage 3: The Main Points

This is the “juicy” part of the conversation, expressing your feelings. 

1. Make sure to use “I” related statements that relate to how you feel. 

  1. When __ happened, I felt __. 
  2. You may have intended ___, but I felt ___. 
  3. When you do ___, it makes me feel ___. 
  4. I was under the impression that ___.
  5. I am ___ with you, because I feel ____. 
  6. For me to be able to move forward, I need ____.

2. Give them compliments with your criticism. 

  1. I really love it when you ____, but just not when ____. 
  2. You are great at ____, but I feel like you may need to work on ___. 
  3. I really appreciate ____, but not ____. 

3. Admit your faults. If you don’t admit fault, people are going to believe that you aren’t willing to work with them, you’re just there to attack or change them. You need to compromise.

4. Allow and ask for feedback. If you are going to give them feedback, they have the right to give the same to you. 

Step 4: End of Conversation 

As you finish up the conversation, you talk about how to move forward. 

1. Tell them what you’d like to see in the future, and ask for their opinion as well. Collaborate on a plan to fix it, and how to address the topic in the future if your plan needs an adjustment.  

2. Remind them that you still value them, love them, and support them. 

3. Thank them for their effort, understanding, and willingness to work with you. 

Personally, after I end a conversation like that, I usually check in with the person a few days later. I ask how they are doing, see if they want to make plans, etc. 

So, those are all my tips for having a constructive conversation with someone you love. This will work on a friend, family member, significant other, coworker – anyone! Just try to be genuine and understanding, and that will go a long way with people. If you decide to use any of these methods in the next conflict you face – let me know! I’d love to see what worked for you! 🙂 xoxo

12 Tips to Stop Over Eating

12 Tips to Stop Over Eating

I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve eaten way too much over this quarantine. 

Thankfully, I know I’m not alone in that. 

I mean, we’re bored at home, we’re coping, we’re distracting ourselves – all normal reasons, but not good reasons. 

Let’s be honest – we don’t know when this quarantine is going to end, and we can’t be doing this forever.  

Luckily, I’ve been through this a lot. When I hit depressed stages, I would overeat to cope – so I’m a pro at quitting too. 

Let me just say one thing first: Eating is normal. Eating is healthy. Eating is what you should be doing. It’s okay to have a few oreos after dinner. Honestly, it’s okay to have oreos for dinner.. Just as long as it doesn’t become a habit. 

Also, it’s okay to gain weight during this time. You’re going through a lot of stress and that’s understandable – so give yourself grace. Your body is not the enemy. 

But – If you’re like me, knowing dang well that you’ve eaten too much of the wrong foods for too long, here are my tips for you: 

Don’t eat in bed or anywhere comfortable. I truly love watching Netflix and eating. It’s distracting and comforting to me. But when you’re distractedly eating, you’re 9 times out of 10 eating too much. I think doing this has also established an unhealthy relationship with food – because whenever I needed comfort, this is what I looked to. 

So, my main suggestion is to eat at the table. Eat without distractions. Don’t bring your laptop to the kitchen and watch Netflix there. Stay off your phone. Focus on what you’re eating – enjoy it, realize when you are full, and then stop.

Pre-portion your food before you eat it. When you’re just sitting and eating a bag of chips, you have no clue how much you’re actually eating. And then, all too quickly.. you’ve eaten half the bag in one sitting. Unless that’s just me. 

Know what foods trigger you. If there’s foods that you just can’t stop eating because they’re too good – don’t eat them until you can establish a healthy relationship with them. 

Don’t go long periods of time without eating!! This has always been my number 1 problem. I’d eat a small breakfast, then wait to eat dinner until like 6 or 7 at night.. Once I got home – I was STARVING. And when you’re that hungry – it doesn’t matter what it is (healthy or not), you need all of it immediately – and then you eat until the pain in your stomach goes away or until it hurts from eating too much. 

Plan your meals ahead. When you have good/healthy meals planned and ready to go when you’re starving, you don’t have the excuse to binge the Oreos. Also, if they are pre-portioned, you know when to stop eating. Maybe you’ll still be hungry after, and that’s okay, but you at least know when to take a break to let your stomach catch up to make sure that you’re still hungry.

Keep your mental health in check. As I’ve said a million times before, I always eat more when I am in a depressed or bad mental health state – and for the longest time, I didn’t even realize that I was an emotional eater! So, just be safe & check in on yourself and make sure that your mind is good, too. 

Honestly, eat healthy. Eat the foods that fuel your body. Eat foods that give you energy, make you full, and make you feel good throughout the day. If you’re already feeling bad and tired, it makes it 100x easier to look to the bad foods. 

Start with a good breakfast. The first thing that you eat in the day, most of the time, sets the tone for the rest of the day. If you eat donuts for breakfast, it’s gonna make it a lot easier to eat pizza for lunch – because you already screwed up, right? So, don’t. Eat an apple and peanut butter for breakfast. Start with something good and fueling. 

Keep a food journal. This shouldn’t be used to shame yourself for eating a couple of Oreos. Eat Oreos! Just don’t eat 10 in one day. The journal is just there to help you keep a mental track of what you’ve put into your body that day. 

Don’t go out to eat regularly. (Obviously this doesn’t apply while we’re in quarantine, but figured I would mention it for later) I don’t know why, but restaurants give HUGE portions. And, if you’re going out to restaurants, you’re probably not eating super healthy either. (Maybe that’s just me.. I don’t know.) Just be careful with how often you go if you notice the same things are true for you. 

Eat slow. If you’re eating at a million miles an hour, you don’t give yourself time to realize that you are full. You also don’t get to enjoy what you’re eating if you scarf it down within 2 minutes. My mom always said, “chew something 27 times before you swallow”. I won’t be doing all that, but it still gives me a good laugh.

Drink water. To be honest, I don’t really like water. I think it’s boring. But it truly is the best thing for you. It helps with weight loss and makes you full, it clears your skin, it purifies your body.. So many health benefits. So drink the dang water. I hear that you should drink half of your body weight (in ounces? I think?) every day. 

Alright, that’s all I’ve got for now! I hope some of these tips help! I know the quarantine 15 is real, so I figured now would be a great time to share. I’m obviously not a doctor so take what I say with a grain of salt, but I have personally used all of these techniques to help me quit overeating (and lose a lot of weight!) But just remember, eating IS healthy and normal – and you should be eating your 3 meals every day! This is just to help you quit eating the 4 or 5 cause you’re bored 😉 

If you liked this kind of post, let me know! I’m trying to share a bunch of different content to see what you guys like and want to see in the future. I’m not a pro on health and fitness, but I’ve definitely changed my lifestyle and created healthier habits, so I’d be happy to share my story and tell you what has (or hasn’t) worked for me! 

Have a great week and see you again on Saturday! 🙂

Honesty Time & Rebuilt Motivation

Honesty Time & Rebuilt Motivation

A couple of weeks ago, I wanted to write a blog post called “Things I Wish I Would Have Known Before Starting A Blog”. I ended up not writing it because I didn’t think it would be relevant to most of my readers and it was extremely negative. Basically, the post was gonna be a huge rant. 

I started this blog not knowing how much freaking time and work it would take. I didn’t know how hard it was going to be to learn how to promote a blog (and I still don’t really know). I didn’t know how long it would take to make a profit. And I didn’t know how long it would take to get engagement on social media accounts. 

I was acting like a frickin brat because I’ve spent 4 months of hard work and haven’t made it big yet. (Yeah, I really wish I could have punched me in the face too.) But, after I was done throwing a tantrum, I decided it was time to ask God for some advice. I asked him for patience, understanding, and vision. He provided.

I was reminded of all of the positive things that I’ve gotten out of starting this blog. 

When I started, I didn’t know how much encouragement I would receive from my friends and family. I didn’t know how it would feel to hear that I’d changed someone’s life. I didn’t know how it would feel to be thanked for my bravery in doing this. I didn’t know how it would change my life – and I’m amazed with the results. 

I learned how to work hard for something I care about. I learned how to create a brand for myself, and then I learned how to adapt my content when something wasn’t working. It showed me the career path that I want to take after graduation. It helped me land an internship this summer. It taught me how to do work when I didn’t want to. 

I’ve motivated myself while motivating you guys. I’ve learned to practice what I preach and take my own advice, even when I don’t want to. It’s taught me how to push through hard things and self doubt. It’s taught me to keep going, even when I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. It’s forced me to come out of my comfort zone, believe in myself and the knowledge I’d like to share, and have the confidence to put it out there. 

With all that said, I want to thank you guys for being my motivation – every single one of you. Even if you’re thinking, “I don’t know her like that, I’m sure she doesn’t mean me.” No, I mean you. Thank you. 

I’m thankful for every encouraging message that I’ve received.

I’m thankful for the people who have told me that I made a huge difference in their life. I’m thankful for the people who have shared my content to their personal pages.

I’m thankful for the people that answer the questions on my stories.

I’m thankful for every person that comments positive things on my photos.

I’m just thankful for the people who follow me and let me inspire them every once in a while.

I’m also especially thankful for the community of women that I’m surrounded by that inspires me on a daily basis.

I started this blog based on one sole reason: to help people. I think I got lost for a little while because I do want this to become my job in the future – not because I want to be an influencer, or be popular, or even make lots of money – but genuinely because I wanted to help people. I want to raise awareness on mental health, help people better themselves, and let people know that they aren’t alone. I started this blog hoping to change one life, and I’ve already done that.. So what else matters? I just needed a reminder.

Anyway, not gonna to lie, this post was mainly for me. I wanted to put it on (virtual) paper so I can let it go and move on with my newfound motivation. But I also want to remain honest with you guys. I hope to inspire you guys to keep going through the tough times because the end goal is worth it – and because you are worth it. 

So, how do you re-motivate yourself or keep yourself going?

Easter Post: Misconceptions of the “Rules” to Christianity

Easter Post: Misconceptions of the “Rules” to Christianity

The idea that you have to be perfect to be a Christian is beyond wrong.

I became most active in my faith when I was at the lowest point in my life, and I promise you that I was extremely far from perfect at that point. I still don’t come close. Actually, I bet some of you didn’t even know that I was a Christian – and that’s how imperfect I am. 

But, spoiler alert: God still loves me anyway, and he will love you anyway.

Here’s the thing about Him: he will love you when you’re broken, when you’ve sinned, when you get mad at him, when you ignore him, when you do stupid things.. He will love you wherever you are at, through whatever you have done. He will even love you when you don’t love yourself. I’m the number one witness of that. 

But I still hear so many people say that “there’s too many rules to be a Christian”. Let me get more specific and tell you this: 

God will love you if you party.

God will love you if you have an addiction. 

God will love you if you cuss. 

God will love you if you’re acting like a brat. (I relate all too well to this one.) 

God will love you if you’ve stolen.
God will love you if you’ve hurt someone. 

God will love you if you have spoken poorly about him in the past. 

God will love you if your friends are sinners. 

God will love you if you were a teen mom.

God will love you if you have a mental disorder.

God will love you no matter who you love.

God will love you if you made terrible decisions in the past.

God will love you even if you freaking robbed banks for a living.

I’m running out of examples, but I’m sure you’re starting to get the point by now. Sin is sin, but He will always love you. He just wants a relationship with you.

But let’s get one thing straight: I’m not saying that you should go out and do all of these things, I actually recommend the opposite. Christianity is about trying to be your best self to be a good example of the God you live for. I’m just trying to say that it’s okay to mess up every once in a while.

I think about God like I think about my parents. My parents usually know what’s best for me, even when I don’t, and they want to carve out the best future for me. When I mess up and get off that track, they might get upset and disappointed, but they don’t love me any less. When I forget to check in for a few days, they don’t stop caring about me, they’re just waiting until I decide to call. He’s doing the same thing for you. 

I felt like I needed to do this post because there are so many Christians that create an inaccurate and unrealistic view of how people have to act to hold the title of being a Christian. 

I don’t love them any less for it – it’s what they believe to be true, and they share it because (in their perception) it’s bettering or helping others. But from my point of view, I put off becoming a Christian for so long because I was afraid that I would fail at it – but the thing is, you can’t fail.. and that’s what I wanted to share with you guys. 

To be truthful, I am scared to post this. I don’t know what kind of response this will get, but if I’m able to help one person find their way to God through this, it’ll be worth it. Just to remind everyone: this is my opinion on Christianity, and I will be respectful of anyone else’s as well, but I ask for that respect in return. 

Alright, that’s it. I hope you guys have an amazing Easter and spend it with the ones you love the most, even if it’s over a Zoom call. See you Wednesday. 🙂

50 Things to Do While Bored in Quarantine

50 Things to Do While Bored in Quarantine

You’re in quarantine. You’re bored. You’re probably watching Netflix and eating something even though you ate 5 minutes ago.

Time to put the cookies down. I have brainstormed some ideas for you. Enjoy 🙂

  1. Do the things you “never have time for”.
  2. Work on your resume, figure out your major, look for a summer job or internship. Don’t wait until the last minute.
  3. Clean out your closet. Do your laundry. Try on old clothes to see if they still fit. Switch from the winter to summer wardrobe. Make sure your socks match.
  4. Workout. Summer is coming.. You now have the time to put in the work to feel good by the pool in June.
  5. Delete old apps and pictures off your phone.
  6. Get ahead at work. Respond to emails, re-evaluate the company’s goals, make the business plan, etc.
  7. If you’re in college – do the work now so you can have fun later. Once this mess is over, the first thing you’re gonna wanna do is head to that bar on a Friday night – and we all know that homework will be last on the priority list.
  8. Create something: a podcast, YouTube channel, music, write a book, start a business, develop a website, start a blog 😉
  9. Learn something. Google and YouTube will do wonders for you. Learn how to play a guitar, how to speak spanish, how to garden, how to cook, etc.
  10. Try the Pinterest ideas. You saw Suan’s post on how to make deep fried oreos? Go for it.
  11. Read a good book.
  12. Watch good movies.
  13. Find good music. Make a million playlists.
  14. Make a life plan for yourself. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10?
  15. Play Candy Crush or Fortnite or whatever is cool these days.. I don’t know.
  16. Make a billion TikToks and get famous.
  17. Rearrange your room.
  18. Paint.
  19. Watch the entire Twilight series.. Again.
  20. Scroll through social media.. Do the “until tomorrow” challenge. Do the 10 push ups. Post a picture of your dog.. You know, all the meaningful things.
  21. Take some self timer pics.. I did.
  22. Shower, do your makeup and hair, make yourself look and feel good.
  23. Online shop. Retail therapy, am I right?
  24. Get on Pinterest. It’s such an underrated app.
  25. Clean out your car. (Yes, I know I should be taking my own advice on this one.)
  26. Update your Facebook. Let Grandma know you’re still alive.
  27. Cuddle your dog. If you have a cat.. sorry.
  28. Plan a future trip.
  29. Find a new podcast to listen to.
  30. Find a job online? Freelance, teaching English to Chinese kids.. I don’t know.
  31. Bake. Quarantine calories don’t count.
  32. Actually cook your meals instead of heating up chicken nuggets (guilty), just because it gives you something to do.
  33. Fix your LinkedIn profile.
  34. Make a bucket list.
  35. Wash your makeup brushes. If you can’t remember the last time that you washed them, it’s been too long my friend.
  36. Create a vision board.
  37. Read all my blog posts 😉
  38. Watch YouTube videos. You can literally never get bored there.
  39. Go for a walk or bike ride. Remember that there’s still life outdoors.
  40. Do some DIY’s. Again, find them on Pinterest. Possibilities are endless.
  41. Make a list of places you want to travel.
  42. Have a picnic.. even if it’s by yourself.
  43. Text your crush. Don’t worry, you’ll have plenty of time to hide if they don’t respond. 🙂
  44. Twitter. That’s all that needs to be said.
  45. Clean out the “junk drawer.” It’s time.
  46. Have I mentioned Pinterest? 🙂 🙂
  47. Journal. Reflect. Make goals.
  48. Read reviews on Yelp. Leave reviews on Yelp. I swear it’s funnier than you’d think.
  49. If you’re looking to scare yourself a little, watch the news!
  50. If literally none of this works for you, just go freakin sleep.

All jokes aside.. Hopefully you got an idea or 2 out of this. Use your time wisely, keep a positive mindset, be thankful, tell your people you love them, and stay inside!!